<?php
/**
 * <https://y.st./>
 * Copyright © 2018 Alex Yst <mailto:copyright@y.st>
 * 
 * This program is free software: you can redistribute it and/or modify
 * it under the terms of the GNU General Public License as published by
 * the Free Software Foundation, either version 3 of the License, or
 * (at your option) any later version.
 * 
 * This program is distributed in the hope that it will be useful,
 * but WITHOUT ANY WARRANTY; without even the implied warranty of
 * MERCHANTABILITY or FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE. See the
 * GNU General Public License for more details.
 * 
 * You should have received a copy of the GNU General Public License
 * along with this program. If not, see <https://www.gnu.org./licenses/>.
**/

$xhtml = array(
	'<{title}>' => 'I do dildos, not drugs.',
	'<{body}>' => <<<END
<section id="dental">
	<h2>Gum healing</h2>
	<p>
		This morning, when I awoke, I found the hole in my gums shrunk to about half what it was last night when I went to bed.
		If I&apos;m lucky, the hole will be gone tomorrow.
		The hole&apos;s presence is made worse by the prescription toothpaste I have to use.
		The toothpaste gets in the hole, but I&apos;m not supposed to rinse after brushing, or the medicated toothpaste won&apos;t have its effect.
		Once in the hole, the hole feels like it&apos;s burning for about twenty minutes, making it difficult to go to sleep.
	</p>
</section>
<section id="cleaning">
	<h2>apartment cleaning</h2>
	<p>
		Today wasn&apos;t the most productive day ever, but I did finish with the entryway table area.
		The table had been covered in miscellaneous items I&apos;d been setting there for at least a month, with the intent to sort them later.
		I also finally got the leaf inserted.
		There was no space for the table in its wide form before; everything&apos;s been cramped since I cleared the living room for my mother&apos;s use.
		I&apos;ve had to store the leaf in the water heater&apos;s closet, which got in the way of the use of the shelves in there.
		With my bedroom better organised though, I&apos;ve been able to move more stuff into here, freeing up space around the table in the entryway.
	</p>
</section>
<section id="drugs">
	<h2>They gave me marijuana!?</h2>
	<p>
		I had a customer that came through drive-through drop strange plant matter in my tip jar.
		I highly suspected it was marijuana, so I asked them what it was.
		They acted incredibly shifty though, and wouldn&apos;t give me a straight answer.
		They just kept telling me it was &quot;medicine&quot;.
		Medicine for what?
		After asking what it was for a few times, they finally told me it helps with pain, but still wouldn&apos;t tell me what it was.
		A friend and coworker of mine&apos;s a user though, so I asked them if it was in fact what I thought it was.
		Yup.
		Sure enough, I&apos;ve been given a dose of weed.
	</p>
	<p>
		They said it&apos;s a hybrid species, mostly stativa, partly indica, but they couldn&apos;t identify the exact strain.
		That&apos;s more specific than I was looking for though!
		I just wanted to know the general nature of what this person had given me.
		They told me the drug should make me very happy and giggly, but I&apos;ve already got something that has that effect on me: my dildo.
		I&apos;m curious as to how similar the drug&apos;s effects are to the aftermath of an orgasm, but not curious enough to give it a try.
	</p>
	<p>
		Now that I&apos;ve gotten it home and had a chance to examine it a bit, I find it smells incredibly familiar.
		It took me a bit to place the scent, but I think it smells like mint!
		I don&apos;t know.
		Anyway, I guess I&apos;ll keep it on my shelf for now as an amusing reminder of today, but as I&apos;m not a user, it&apos;s not something I can actually make use of.
		I&apos;m still in disbelief that a random stranger gave me drugs, without any hint that I might even want them; without any indication that I&apos;d even know how to use it.
		Seriously.
		I have no idea what to do with this plant.
		I guess people smoke it, but how does one do that?
		There&apos;s probably more to it than rolling it in paper and lighting it on fire.
		I could look it up if I really cared, but to do that, I&apos;d first have to find a way to identify it as marijuana to begin with.
		In my case, I had a hunch and it panned out, but since the customer wouldn&apos;t give any real hints as to what it was, they couldn&apos;t realistically expect me to get that far.
	</p>
</section>
END
);
